what am i gonna do??
current location: Denny's
current mood: confused
current song: mood muzak
the only reason i didn't "fail" out of grad school my first time around was 'cuz i realized i was NOT DOING WELL (depression) and so told my department i was leaving. they countered with "take a leave of absence" which i did, but finally never went back since the depression got worse and worse.... that was back in '97.
i'm just now feeling well enough to consider going back (thank GOD, not to the same university or the same research area). however, that means applying all over again, from the beginning, at new programs, most of which won't accept GRE scores over 5 years old and some which want the MCAT! yet, how do i explain a 10+ year gap that includes living on social security disability due to mental illness??? i'm very afraid... very, VERY afraid!
i'm rapidly (months) approaching 40 years old, and don't even have an MS behind my name since the grad program was PhD or bust...! i'm looking at retaking a test that is no longer on paper, one i've never taken, and then having to EXPLAIN why i was depressed, but how and why i'm now better!?!?!?